Damn OBE TV

I'm in my parents house. Cosy, good food, and free laundry facilities. However. My mother insists on watching African TV channels (and there are several hundred at last count) on the loudest volume humanly possible.
Now if you've never seen a Nollywood movie, that won't mean much: let me explain.
There's like one boom mike for the entire set, and nothing else.
Remember when you were like 10 and would record ''radio shows" for fun? You'd get the tape recorder and talk into it like the DJ then hold it up against the stereo speakers for the music?
That's exactly how these things sound.
So the dialogue will always be a bit low and hazy, but you will hear every rum and rattle in the air conditioning, car, and whatever happens to be going down on streets of Abuja.
And every so often the danger music comes on or somone dies and suddenly you're in the club and the floor in the lounge is vibrating.
I'm thinking of getting her earphones for christmas.
Or starting a sound engineering school in Port Harcourt... as soon as they stop kidnapping three-year-olds.